Miss Take

True Blood 5.12

• Oh goody, the finale. This should be even more spectacularly fucked than normal. 
• So the fae blood means he can’t feel the super sparkles any more?
• Did Eric actually stake him or did he just kind of explode?
• I like that Eric is actually sticking up Sookie, even if Nora should probably just eat her.
• Bill trying to swat Sam is kind of hilarious.
• JESUS CHRIST HOW MUCH MONEY
• oh my god. “Somethin’ funny, fanger.” “Yes, blood bag.” “Leech.” “Breather.” “Dead fuck.” “Meat sack.”
• I like that Tara keeps reminding Sookie she owes Pam.
• WHY IS JASON ALL ANTI-FANG RN? WHY IS HE SEEING HIS WEIRDO HICK PARENTS? 
• Why would you want to spend your undead life as one of those robot black beret flunkies?
• Is there gonna be a Salome/Bill show down now? Why the hell is Bill telling Salome she’s the chosen? None of this is making sense.
• “They’re religion fanatics, both of them.” “Well, I can totally believe it about Bill. He’s always looking for something to feel guilty about.” 
• “One of the worst things about being immortal is having to watch this same stupid scenario happen over and over. It’s usually the humans though. Guess this proves we’re just as fucking retarded as they are.”
• “Must all roads lead to fucking Sookie?” 
• PAM IS THE BEST. I JUST WANT TO SAVE ALL OF HER QUOTES EVER.
• Why is crazy grandma werebitch suddenly the voice of reason though?
• l o l Kill Bill. Jason you poor fucktard.
• I thought silver was harmful to weres too thought?
• The whole “fly vision” shit is really annoying. 
• I WANT ONE OF LALA’S DRINKS!
• What even is Morella doing with the salt?
• Oh my god is she Old Gregg? Her “light broke”? What the hell even?
• Oh good, more pointless BEEL sex.
• Is Eric still high?
• What the fuck is Morella doing? Their faces though! Just like, watching. 
• “It’s a girl! With…no… umbilical cord.”
• I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE THE ACCENT WAS GONE WHAT EVEN 
• Vampire Barb is still weird
• Oh my god why are there four?
• “You’re a dick.”
• I LOVE THAT WERE-BITCH HAS A CROSSBOW.
• Oops, Alcide got a bit mad. I think the V was a bad idea, daddy werewolf.
• Oh, kay, or not. I’m pretty fucking sure half of those hicks didn’t understand what the word nihilism meant though.
• Did sam just shift back inside her? EW THAT IS GROSS.
• Is Bill going to kill Salome now?
• Jasons concentrating face is kind of hilarious. 
• THAT LOOKED LIKE VAMPIRE PIN BALL.
• “What the fuck are you doin’?” “Getting you the fuck out of jail bitch.”
• Eric and Nora actually acting like brother and sister while not being incestuous is my favourite. ♥
• WOW OKAY UNEXPECTED BUT I KIND OF LIKE IT. “Oh, okay.” “I knew it!”
• What did Bill do? He’s too smug.
• Jason wtf. Don’t be mean to Jess.
• Really? After all that shit you just let him stake you? And isn’t that vial a bit small compared to what was in it before?
• l o l, yes it was Sookie. It totally was a fucking act, idiot.
• OH JUST STAKE BILL AND FUCK ERIC ALREADY.
• Bill looks like an emo fag. What the hell. 
• It’s too much to ask that he’s actually dead, right?
• I like that Eric is trying to push Sookie behind him.
• Oh goody, another bloody monster. What was with the dinosaur noise? Are they really leavin it there til next season tho? That’s ridiculous. 

True Blood 5.11

• Oh goodie, Alcide is gonna be back. Seriously though, what the fuck is Salome’s hair? The fuck does “fae baring female heir” even mean?
• You know, normal people don’t listen to weird disembodied voices… Not even normal vampires. Lilith is seriously fucking ugly.
• Does this mean normal Nora will be back?
• Bill stop being a stupid dick head, for once in your undead life.
• Oh good, more “sibling” sex, just what we need. Like, I love that it means Eric getting naked and all, but is that really the best way to deal with this shit?
• Who/what the fuck is Warlo? It doesn’t make ANY sense.
• At least this general dude has a back up plan for getting out alive, I suppose. 
• Are they really turning Jessica into a vampire? Oh, no, okay.
• What even is Pams hair now?
• Can I please have Noras boots?
• The super ancient faery is bat shit, then? 
• Andy thinks he’s getting some.
• At least the crazy faery has balls for a change.
• “I’m a bitch, not a snitch. Love it.”
• Andy Bellefleur! Did you put that bun in her oven?!
• “Totally. Maybe later we can braid each others hair and talk about boys. Fuckin’ baby vamps.”
• Awww, Jessica and Tara ARE gonna be baby vamp friends!
• Why is vampire Barb in Fangtasia?
• GO PAM! 
• NO, DON’T GO QUIETLY DAMN IT!
• Is Bill like a pokemon now or? I CHOOSE YOU!
• “Jesus!” “I actually met him. He was a boring hippy who stank of patchouli.”
• Why are there always bows and arrows?
• Please tell me Pam only went quietly because she was trying to get to Eric?
• YOU BETTER NOT KILL HER YOU MASSIVE DICK FACE
• Lilith is a greedy bitch. She’s choosing everyone.
• What is crazy bitch faery doing now?
• Oh well, that didn’t go as planned really, did it?
• I think Russell just came.

Teen Wolf 2.12

PREPARE FOR THE CAPSLOCKS.

• DON’T YOU PUSH MY STILES DOWN THE STAIRS YOU STUPID BASTARD
• STILES DON’T JUST STAND THERE, GET THEM DOWN.
• Oh poor Sheriff. YOU HAD BETTER FUCKING FIND HIM, SCOTT.
• Oh, coach has feels. GREENBERG!
• “Scott can find me, all right, he knows my scent. It’s pungent you know, it’s more like a stench. He could find me even if I was buried at the bottom of a sewer covered in faecal matter and urine.”
• DON’T HIT MY STILES YOU PRICK. I AM SERIOUSLY GOING TO KILL THIS OLD BASTARD MYSELF.
• I like that Peter is part of this dream team now.
• OH MY GOD ALLISON YOU IDIOT, STOP IT. STOP TAKING HIS SIDE. ASSHAT. GO RESCUE STILES OR I WILL KILL YOU TOO.
• Please tell me Allison is on something? Like, I know she’s grieving and whatever, but please tell me there’s something else fucking her up on top of that, because REALLY?!
• DON’T TOUCH THE WEIRD GOO MELISSA. Oh hey, finally someone sort of sensible, using a stick instead of your finger. THIS PART? NOT SO SENSIBLE. YOU KNOW THERE’S SOMETHING FUCKED UP ABOUT HIM, DON’T OPEN THE GOD DAMN BODY BAG.
• Omg, poor Sheriff </3
• WHY DID YOU GET LET GO?! WHAT IS GOING ON?
• OMG ARE YOU CRYING, DON’T CRY IT’S ALREADY SAD ENOUGH.
• “What is that? A book?” “No, a laptop. What century are you living in?!”
• WHAT THE HELL
• Awww, Lydia is going to see Stiles and Stiles is being all tough guy ♥
• You’re really making your mother zip it up?
• YES CHRIS, LET THEM GO. GOOD CHRIS. I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LIKED YOU.
• Stiles you are adorable ♥
• YOU GOT A LOT OF STUFF BUT WHAT WAS IN THE MASSIVE BOX?!
• BIGGER? FUCKING WINGS? REALLY?! WHAT THE FUCK?!
• “Look, someone actually made an animation of it. Maybe it’s less frightening if we - NOPE!”
• SUBTLE PUPPIES. SUPER FUCKING SUBTLE.
• Poor Chris. 
• Beat up Stiles is so pretty.
• “Then can you let us go?” “No. My car’s faster.” ♥
• I DON’T GET THE POINT OF STILES BEING TAKEN OR WHY THE HELL HE WAS ALLOWED TO LEAVE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!
• Oh Sheriff Stilinski ♥ All the feels ♥
• WHY ISN’T STILES THE MAIN CHARACTER DAMN IT
• Derek is right there, running like a spastic.
• I AM FUCKING LOVING PETER HALE AND HIS SNARK TBH.
• WHAT THE HELL EVEN?!
• IS ALLISON ACTUALLY GOING TO STAND THERE AND LET HER DAD BE KILLED? REALLY? ISN’T LOSING ONE PARENT ENOUGH? 
• Oh good. Ugly wolf time.
• What is Peter doing though? Why is he just standing there?
• Boyd and Erica better show up soon.
• WHERE ARE THE WINGS WE WERE PROMISED?
• ISAAC NO
• Officially hate Allison. Allison can go die in a fire.
• l o l, he’s done all this to become a fucking werewolf? JUST DIE WITH DIGNITY YOU OLD DICK HEAD. NO ONE LIKES YOU ANYWAY.
• Really? You’re going to kill Derek? 
• ALLISON IS A PSYCHO WILLING TO KILL YOU, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR HER?
• Ohhh, the bite is gonna kill him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
• SCOTT DID SOMETHING SMART? WHAT THE FUCK?
• Oh well this is gross.
• What happens when the kanima doesn’t have a master? Does he go rabid or does Jackson get to be Jackson again?
• OH MY GOD DIE ALREADY YOU DICK.
• YEAH STILES.♥
• “Did I get him!?”
• Oh please tell me that was his girly scream.
• Awww, Jackson/Lydia. RIGHT IN THE FEELS♥
• What the hell are Peter and Derek fucking doing?!
• NO. STOP IT. THIS ISN’T ALLOWED. I WANT A HAPPY ENDING.
• Oh my god, after all that you’re holding her fucking hand? SHE SHOT AT YOU WITH A CROSS BOW.
• Oh my fucking god, the old bastard still isn’t dead?!
• HI WOLFY JACKSON. LYDIA CURED HIM. ABOUT TIME.
• OH, PRETTY BLUE EYES. I’VE MISSED THE GLOWY PRETTY BLUE EYES.
• Jackson is a fucking ugly wolf. Totally corny dramatic entrance for him though, with the whole smoke and lights thing.
• MY POOR STILES. COME HERE, I’LL LOVE YOU INSTEAD OKAY ♥
• “Scratched my jeep.” </3
• YES SHE DOES. SHE HAS TO SAY SORRY SO FUCKING MUCH. TO EVERYONE EVER. JESUS CHRIST. 
• SCOTT YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT.
• WHAT ARE BOYD AND ERICA DOING
• OH RIVAL PACK. NO. DON’T JOIN THEM. 
• Vet man, what are you doing? IS LEATHER A REQUIREMENT FOR THIS SHOW OR? What is with the whole black outfits and coloured t-shirts thing? Did they plan this?
• A PACK OF ALPHAS? HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
• I am really very glad that no one I liked died and that Peter is staying, tbh. Snarky Peter♥
• I love the Scott & Stiles stuff. GO STILES GO! 

Wait, wait. Didn’t I read somewhere that two people died? Does that mean the Alpha pack killed Erica and Boyd?! I LIKED ERICA. THAT WASN’T ALLOWED TEEN WOLF.

True Blood 5.10 

• Oh fuck. I forgot that shit happened last week. Hoyt is almost dead, some bitch has taken over Fangtasia, and Bill is still a massive douche. Lala is still fabulous, though.
• Why is Sookie still in that house? It offers like, zero protection.
• Really though, chop sticks? She isn’t THAT strong, and neither are they.
• Ohhh, poor vampire Mac. “In that case, allow me to say, fuck all of you. You are destroying the world based on a book that is thousands of years old, you call that evolved?! That’s the opposite of evolved!”
• Seriously? What the fuck is the new dude?
• What the fuck is Bill doing now?
• LEAVE ERIC ALONE YOU STUPID CUNT.
• MAKE NORA STOP BEING STUPID.
• NO, NO. DON’T DO THAT. I really don’t like Lilith. And she’s an ugly bitch.
• THESE VAMPIRES ARE SERIOUSLY MESSY EATERS, IT IS RIDICULOUS.
• GO LALA, GO. I love that them two are sticking up for Jessica.
• Oh Pam ♥
• Bye bye Hoyt. Oh, this is sad.
• Jessica/Deborah has the bluest eyes.
• Oh hey, look. Sookie’s doing the sensible thing.
• You know you’re fucked when Jason figures out the answer and you don’t.
• The fuck kind of language is that?
• ITS FUCKING FAERY LANGUAGE, DUH.
• I want Lafayette to cook for me!
• Poor Jessica ♥
• Please make Eric flip out and kill everyone. 
• NO, DON’T SAY THAT. GODRIC WAS AWESOME. NO, DON’T FUCKING APOLOGISE TO THAT CUNT. OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU THANKING HIM? NO DON’T DO THAT, IDIOT. STOP IT. STOP RUINING EVERYTHING.
• Where did Emma disappear to?!
• Sam and Luna are in the bag.
• JASON WHAT ARE YOU DOING? It’s only going to make you sad, idiot.
• Oh goody, now he’s going to try convert Jessica. 
• PAM APPROVES. I can totally fucking see it.
• Oh goody, dissension. 
• What the fuck even is Russells accent now?
• “We’re only 130.”
• SHE’S HAVING ANDY’S BABY
• She’s totally showing off.
• So she’s promised to some weirdo vamp? Awesome.

Teen Wolf 2.11

• I really hate Scott right now. And grandpa creepy. I hope Derek beats the shit out of both.
• Why the hell does Stiles know all this?! I get that he researches shit but this is creepy. I do love Stiles though. 
• I’m so glad he’s sheriff again ♥
• Oh my poor Stiles </3
• So much for his mum being the god damn grown up. I get that it’s scary and I get that she’s freaking out, but he’s still her son, even if I don’t like him.
• How is Stiles talking to the counsellor about this shit without explaining anything to her? I know there’s more to her than we know yet, but he doesn’t know that.
• OH STILES BBY  ♥ ♥
• I really wish they’d stop focusing on his mouth god damn it
• WHAT THE FUCK. 
• Why in the hell is Jackson spitting black shit? 
• I think Scott’s dad was abusive.
• What the hell is with the wolf howls?
• Oh poor Derek. They better not be going over to Peter.
• Oh Isaac, poor little puppy. I just feel sorry for all the wolves right now. 
• The other pack is going to be Peters, or it’s going to be a hunter trick.
• Warmer welcome? Is that a reference to the fire?
• Isaac looks like a puppy that’s been kicked. 
• Is Dr. Deaton the home for wayward werewolves now?
• Does Peter still get Alpha powers?
• YES YOU DO YOU WONKY FACED PUPPY. DEREK NEEDS YOU DAMN IT.
• At least Scott admits he’s oblivious.
• At least Jackson cares about Danny. ♥
• Why is Scott’s mum in the locker room? What the hell is the coach on about? Jesus Christ.
• Only one co-captain? Ohhh. Because Scott’s thick.
• DEREK, BEAT UP YOUR UNCLE LATER. USE HIM TO BEAT THE CREEPY LIZARD FIRST.
• STOP BEING BRAVE STILES. TELL YOUR DAD YOU FEEL SICK AND RUN AWAY PLEASE. 
• Greenberg! Damn it! DON’T MAKE STILES PLAY ;___;
• “Unless you’d rather play with yourself.” “I already did that today, twice.”  ♥ 
• Oh my god, proud papa Stilinski is adorable. 
• You fucking psychopathic old cunt. 
• NO, ALLISON, YOU LEAVE THOSE BETAS ALONE YOU STUPID COW.
• Go and take his fucking pills away from him. THAT IS GOING TO BE A MAJOR FUCKING PART OF IT OKAY, THEY MAKE HIM TAKE THEM OFTEN ENOUGH ON CAMERA AND PLAY WITH THE STUPID TIN.
• Don’t you fucking kill the coach you dick head. He’s hilarious.
• I’m really starting to like creepy uncle Peter. I know he’s going to fuck things up eventually, but Derek needs to use him before that.
• Is… Lydia actually supporting Stiles?
• PUPPY!
• You know, these other Betas kind of suck. They have stealth on their side and superior senses, and they still can’t escape through home territory away from a couple of measly human hunters.
• Ohhh, I really do like Erica. Allison better not have just killed her. I’m seriously not liking Allison at all right now. What happened to the whole “kill them if they defend Derek thing”? They’re not defending him right now, they’re trying to leave. 
• Isaac really likes beating people up. Isn’t it going to be obvious when he starts hitting his own team?
• OH BOYD 
• STOP IT ALLISON YOU FUCKING CUNT.
• Oh, I like his mummy better now she’s grown her spine back.
• Bargaining your own fucking granddaughter? You fucking creepy little cunt.
• WHY WOULD YOU WANT ALLISON RIGHT NOW? SHE’S A TWAT.
• NO. DO NOT KILL ISAAC YOU FUCKING DICK HEAD. LEAVE THE PUPPY ALONE.
• Peter is actually going to save someone?
• GO STILES GO, SCORE! ♥
• How the hell does Gerard manage to disappear so quickly? He’s fucking spry for an old jack ass.
• I bet Gerard is going to target Lydia because of this.
• Is Stiles actually winning this game for them right now?! 
• I SWEAR TO CHRIST IF YOU KILL ANYONE I LIKE I WILL. I DON’T EVEN KNOW. SOMETHING. PAIN, LOTS OF PAIN.
• So, they took down Jackson? How does that even make sense?
• Did he stab himself?
• WHERE IS STILES?! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE HURT MY STIES?!
• Wow, okay, so next week is going to be bad. 

True Blood 5.09

• I’m really glad there’s a recap because I forgot half of this shit. 
• Poor Eric, being dragged along with this shit. 
• Oh look, dissension. Please tell me they tear each other and Bill apart and leave Eric alone. 
• No, but seriously, what happened to not wasting the fucking blood and being a neat eater being a point of pride? Older vampires are supposed to set an example, take less and waste less. 
• What’s vampire Mac doing? Awww, she’s helping Eric.
• “You see anything?” “Yep. One fine ass motherfucker with pretty new eyelashes!”
• Sassy Lala is my favourite. “I’m sorry Sook, I ain’t got no god damn clue how this shit works, I ain’t Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost, although I am way prettier.”
• “The rest of y’all! I ain’t gmail for dead bitches, send your own god damn messages. Hell!”
• No but really, I’m just going to quote Lafayette forever, I love him.
• So, Luna isn’t going to die? Awww. They love each other. Cute.
• “Baby, if it wasn’t for you… You’re the only reason I’m fighting at all.”
• “There are two things I try to stay away from; humans who eat a lot of fish, and politics. So whatever comes next, we keep our heads down, our tits up and the True Blood flowing. Understand?”
• “Just because we drank a bitch together does not make us Oprah and Gail. Get the fuck back to work.”  ”Suck Me! Vampire Barbie.”
• Oooh. That’s it. Bring up Sookie. Eric, why are you saving Beel?
• I think Erics tops are more low cut than mine.
• “Dead folk! Why you gotta be so cryptic?! It ain’t cute.”
• DON’T MAKE PROMISES YOU CAN’T KEEP JASON.
• Oh Jason. Jesus Christ. 
• Oh look, broody Alcide.
• Teenage Alcide looks nothing like older Alcide. Neither does Debbie.
• Is Bud Dearborn gonna be something to do with the Obama’s?
• Who the fucks this fat cow?
• “No, the president of the United States is not actually in Renard Parish shooting and kidnapping people.”
• I knew Terry’s “friend” was an asshole.
• Bet you’re regretting using up your fairy shit now, aren’t you?
• “I mean Joe Bob fell off his bunk real hard…” Jesus Fuck, Jason.
• “Joe Bob’s a son of a bitch, but it is my job to protect son of a bitches too - and vampires, and shifters, and were-chickens and whatever the fuck else is out there.”
• “ALL THE LAW EVER GAVE ME WAS CANCER IN MY ASS!”
• FUCKING GO ARLENE!
• Oh please make Nora bad ass again. I don’t like her as a fanatic.
• “Still such a fucking Viking, after all these years.” “Always.”
• Someone please fucking kill Salome.
• Oh goody, more Beeeeeel secks.
• SAM TO THE RESCUUUUUE!
• GO LUNA GO!
• So did the pigs get to Hoyt then?
• That fucking smoke monster better not take Terry after all that. And it better not fucking burn Sam’s bar. Oh good. Mysterious disappearance it is.
• WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CUNT?! DON’T YOU BE KICKING PAM! 
• I want that chicks skeleton dress.
• Oh bloody fuck, Russell and his fucking wolves again. Moonlight fucking strolls with Steve.
• Is this supposed to be Alcide’s daddy’s trailer? Oh, yep. What happened to Mr. Alpha Wolf? I like his eyes though.
• Beel you fucking cunt.

Teen Wolf 2.10

• Oh okay, so they are actually showing how it happened? Sort of? That’s new. Knew Matt was a stalker though, first Jackson then Allison. Matts evil smirk at the end was kind of cool, though.
• Still don’t get half of the opening credits, why is Derek in talcum powder
• “He’s got a very distinct cranium.”
• Stiles and his daddy make the best team.
• DON’T YOU POINT THAT GUN AT MY STILES.
• Did the vet really just wake Derek up with a dog whistle?
• Grandpa Creepy is involved in this? Awesome.
• Oh wow, way to make a grieving kid feel worse. Manipulating her like that is so fucking messed up.
• WAY TO JINX IT SCOTT. STELLAR ADVICE MR. VET. 
• What the fuck is she trashing her room and wardrobe for?!
• “Abominable snowman, but it’s more of like a winter time thing. You know, seasonal… bitch.”
• IS STILES REALLY ON TOP OF DEREK RIGHT NOW? DOES MATT ACTUALLY SHIP STEREK?
• I love that Scott is just casually holding onto his side.
• WELL THAT IS GROSS.
• l o l, she’s 17 and she just lost her mother. She’s not going to be fucking objective.
• Poor Stiles and Derek. I love that they’re working together though.
• So… Isaac’s dad let the swim team drink and Matt was there, got thrown in and drowned? And that’s why he’s killing everyone?
• I’m pretty sure Scott doesn’t know who you’re talking about Matt.
• See? 
• The furies were pretty awesome though. Is that why Jackson is all snake like or?
• Pictures? Really? Why isn’t Allison dead then?
• “I think so, I can move my toes.” “Dude, I can move my toes.”
• Are the hunters really shooting up a police station? Because the dead cops wouldn’t have been hard enough to explain?
• AWWW, DEREK TOLD HIM TO SAVE STILES.
• What the hell is a door going to do to stop a Kanima?
• You know, if you told Scott what was going on then maybe he could explain that your psycho mother was trying to kill him and Derek saved his life? Without actually killing her?
• How does a head shot NOT kill a kanima though?
• And surely that smoke is more of a hindrance to the humans than to the supernaturals? Unless it’s laced with something?
• What even are the kanimas feet? They’re weird looking.
• Allison is being kind of bad ass though. I do like that.
• Wearing your hair down like that is totally impractical. DADDY ARGENT TO THE RESCUE.
• GO DADDY STILINSKI.
• OH MY GOD STILES MY POOR BABY, YOUR FACE.
• They still haven’t really explained what’s wrong with Grandpa creepy.
• Why is he just looking at Peter Hale?!
• Ohhh, poor mama McCall. She is going to be so confused. 
• Matt kind of crapped his pants when Derek turned up.
• SCOTTY TO THE RESCUEEE. 
• Oooh. She knows! Scott looks a bit heart broken at her reaction. Surely like, that’s not going to end well for him helping.
• WHAT THE HELL SCOTT?! YOU DON’T HELP GRANDPA CREEPY.
• Those pills are totally going to be the key to getting rid of him.
• Ohhh. Derek overheard D:
• So Grandpa creepy is going to drown Matt? That’s kind of…totally psychotic. Couldn’t he just shoot him? It’d probably be easier, tbh. And a lot more likely to stick. 
• So, Grandpa creepy did it all to bond with the kanima?
• Ohhh, Hale does not look happy about that.
• WHAT THE HELL EVEN WITH THE PREVIEW?!

True Blood 5.08

• “Fae no longer” kind of doesn’t sound like she’ll just turn into a human. It’s pretty ominous.
• How do those rednecks even know about shifters?
• What the fuck is wrong with Luna?
  Sam!Luna hyperventilating is hilarious though. Why do all the shifters that turn into people pick Sam? 
• Oh good, more high vampire adventures. 
  “We were in the presence of god.” “We were high as fucking kites.” 
• “I’m fine, you got me in the head.” Oh Jason ♥
  I love that they’re actually making him grow as a person. 
• PRAISE LILITH, PRAISE JESUS, PRAISE MOSES COCK
• Hey Mr. Party-Pooper, way to be obvious about it. Nora looks pretty all bloody, tho.
• Have they even told us Alcides seconds name? Did he really just say that tho?
• Who said Lilith says he has to eat her though?
• I love how all the flashbacks are blurry and weird.
• Is Bill actually buying into this shit?
• These vampires are fucking messy eaters. I thought it was a point of pride not to be?
• They better not bloody kill Jessica.
• Oh good, more ridiculous fairy bullshit.
• Poor Lafayette
• “Fuckstick”?
• Poor Andy, stuck with more supernatural shit he doesn’t get.
• Oh my god this is ridiculous. This is like some weird take on the witches and their reconstructions in the books.
• How the fuck did she switch to the vampires perspective and why in the fuck does the vampire sound like some kind of movie monster?
• CLAUDE ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS THO.
• “Warlo”? Wasn’t the guy in the books Waldo? Is Warlo even a name?
• I love how Pam watches Tara with a kind of semi-proud look on her face, especially when she’s being a sarcastic bitch or aggressive, and then pretends to be upset about what she’s done.
• I take it they’re not introducing Quinn any time soon?
• That’s totally fucking cheating, picking something Alcide won’t do.
• Please make Nora stop being a twat. I want her to be a bad ass again.
• Oh my poor Eric </3
• That must have been super fucking weird to film, confessing your love to yourself.
• “You don’t know me that well; my mad face and my happy face are the same.” Pam is my favourite. ♥
• I’m really kind of loving her and Tara’s new relationship.
• Alcide should have just gone for his throat and ripped it out instead of throwing him around. 
• Lafayette being all theatrical is the besttt.
• Sookie really needs to go move into an actual persons house. While Eric owns hers, anyone can get in. 
• Jesus fucking Christ, what is wrong with Bill? I thought he was a human loving sissy? Poor Eric.

Teen Wolf 2.09

• I kind of forgot Uncle Creepy was back. Wishful thinking? Probably. Poor Lydia. why is always showers? Who was that chick in the crowd the focused on? Wow, this doesn’t look rapey at all.
• If they’d told Lydia about any of this crap she wouldn’t be freaking out so much, or she’d at least be able to talk to someone about it. 
• How does she even know when the full moon is?
• How are her parents not noticing any of her freak outs?
• Damn it, I thought she was dying. Please tell me the bite kills her?
• I love that they’re talking about killing her not even 10 feet away from where she’s sitting.
• Oh, poor bby Derek blaming himself.
• Scott is literally a puppy. Genuinely feeling sorry for Derek now, though.
• Why is it that Allison is either bad ass or looking like she is about to cry/has just cried?
• Oh look, Allison is going to find out what a huge stalker Matt is.
• There is something really fucking creepy and not right about him.
• This episode is just really rapey.
• Oooh, Boyd is a smarty pants.
• Kind of really liking Erica right now.
• Harris? Really? He’s creepy, but not murder-y creepy. I knew the sticker was important, though. the Stilinskis are my favourites.
• So did Lydia’s touch make him more him then?
• “For Lydia”? What even?
• STILES IS ADORABLE.
• I’m guessing someone on the swim team got messed with. 
• STILES MADE DRAG QUEEN FRIENDS!
• Poor Erica. </3
• Oh Jesus Christ. 
• Poor Derek.
• “According to gender statistics, most women - but you’re not most women.” I actually kind of like that psycho mommy has to be a psycho even when killing herself.
• This is going to go so, so wrong.
• Do they have those cases specifically for killing themselves or?
• Lydia is always right. 
• NO DON’T DRINK THE PUNCH IDIOT.
• Oh my GOD. This is like, Twilight level stalking.
• I do like bad ass Allison making a re-appearence, though.
• What even? Why is she hallucinating herself? I do like crossbow!Allison though.
• So, the wolfsbane is a hallucinogen? 
• Stiles’ better be hallucinating. This is heart breaking.
  Oh my poor bby’s little face D:
• YOU’RE SERIOUSLY GOING TO KILL YOURSELF IN YOUR DAUGHTERS ROOM? LIKE IT ISN’T GOING TO TRAUMATISE HER ENOUGH, IT HAS TO BE WHERE SHE SLEEPS?!
• Oh my god, really? Everyone else is having these super meaningful hallucinations and you’re just seeing Allison get it on with Jackson?
• So, the entire Kanima thing is Jackson’s identity crisis?
• Poor Derek. Can’t he just Alpha up and smack them around a bit?
• l o l. Poor Stiles
• Oh, so THAT’S what the ripped shirts were for.
• AWWW ISAAC IS HELPING. 
• This is actually kind of heart breaking, too, even if she is psychotic.
• REALLY THO? ON YOUR DAUGHTERS BED?
• Issac’s wolf is uglier than the usual.
• PURPLE FAIRY DUST
• Oh Lydia no, what did you do?
• So, Matt is the master? Really? He’s creepy and weird but where the hell does he get the power from?
• How can Lydia be dragging Derek? Derek is huge and she’s wearing heels.
• Really? Zombie werewolf?
• OH POOR DEREK D:
• Did that preview actually just happen though? Did Allison actually just say she wants Derek dead? He better not die, I want some Sterek.
• LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I’M NOT LISTENING

Teen Wolf 2.08

• How do these time lapses even make sense?
• Stiles & his dad are the best. 
• Why is Scott whispering?
• Harris doesn’t look THAT much older than 24.
• Wow, creepily staring and not talking at all. Subtle. 
• The kid letting them into the morgue looks younger than Allison. 
• Since when is showing your teenage daughter things like this okay? For anyone? Ever?
• Of course he’s the captain of the swim team. 
• What the hell has that metal thing got to do with ANYTHING?
• Matt is just really annoying.
• “Stilinsky! Jackson?” “Sorry coach, I haven’t seen him since the last time I saw him.” “And when was that?” “The last time I saw him? S’definitely the time I saw him last.” 
• “How do you two losers even survive?” Yep, Mr. Wonky-Face, I definitely like your approach to getting tickets better than Stiles’.
• THERE WERE PENCILS BEING SHARPENED. 
• Scott, you’re so dense. 
• CREEPER MOM IS CREEPY. Seriously? That face?
• Poor Stiles.
• Allison is an idiot, for this part, and she looks like a frightened little mouse. What happened to the chick shooting people with a crossbow?
• Also, what the hell is it that Grandpa creepy is taking?
• That is one tiny knife.
• OH POOR DADDY STILES ;___;
  This part makes me so sad. “Maybe I just don’t wanna feel any worse than I already do by having to yell at my son.”
• Why is it that Scott is like super-attuned to Allison? It’s ridiculous. 
• Erica looks kind of weird. Wonky-face looks hot though.
• NO YOU CAN’T FIX IT, IDIOT. I get that you’re torn between your boyfriend and your daddy, but you should at least discuss both sides with one of them or something. It’s not like Scott hasn’t tried to help with this shit before, you should know he would again. I want bad ass Allison back. 
• How in the HELL has no one noticed Stiles pouring that shit, or like, scuffed the line or whatever?
• “Something wicked this way comes”? Really?!
• Scott actually sounded kind of smart with the whole explaining thing and AWW HE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT WONKY FACE! Poor lickle Isaac can’t believe it, obviously.
• Derek’s teeth still bother me. They’re like rabbits. 
• “Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to bring claws to a gun fight?”
• What even with the fighting? Seriously?  Those moves are kind of OTT for what needs to be done, and why did no one do anything about Boyd just casually walking around the side of the bin and right in front of the hunters? 
• And the little dance floor threesome?
• Is Derek like immune to their stun guns now? Is that from becoming Alpha or just because he got so much pumped into him from psycho bitch when she was torturing him?
• How does no one notice them casually being stabbed and bleeding all over the place?
• Poor Stiles.
• Ohhh, wonky face, A+ for effort, but the sexy!snarly face? Was it really necessary?
• PSYCHO MOM STRIKES AGAIN! Wouldn’t you wear something a little bit more practical for maiming and torturing your daughters boyfriend? I mean I get she wants the whole sexy librarian thing, but tight pencil skirts don’t offer a lot of movement, and those heels can’t be easy either.
• MAGIC FAIRY DUST. How does believing suddenly make more of the ash appear though?
• Isn’t that sticker from the teachers car?
• “Isn’t it obvious? I’m killing you.” JFC.
• Poor Isaac. Really doesn’t get very much in the way of luck. Why are the two of them just suddenly listening to what Stiles says though?
• “She’s 21. I told you I’d see a student here.” SUUURE.
• Awww, Derek being a good Alpha <3
• Wow, creepy possessed Jackson. Fun.
• I love how Isaac is just slowly moving away as Stiles stays where he is.
• What’s grandpa creepy doing with the line?
• SHOVE YOUR “BEST INTENTIONS” UP YOUR ASS PL0X.
• Where even in that was any indication she wanted to kiss you?
• IF HE HADN’T USED THE WHOLE BOTTLE IT WOULDN’T HAVE WORKED EVEN THIS LONG.
• Why don’t those things move? And why did no one notice her casually dying on them?
• PROUD STILES! 
• How the hell does just not having a pack make him an omega? I thought it was more to do with the power level? 
• He couldn’t just smudge the line, he had to part it all magically like.
• STABBING HIM IN THE BACK? I TOLD YOU TO WEAR A MORE PRACTICAL OUTFIT FOR KILLING
• “The prognosis isn’t nearly as dire as it seems”? Really? How?
• Awww, Derek cares about Scott. That’s cute.
• WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS TOWN HAVE A HIDDEN AGENDA SLASH ABILITY? WHAT EVEN ARE THESE TWO SUPPOSED TO BE?!
• Wow ominous. 
• BYE BYE PSYCHO BITCH. That bite looks weird. Please tell me she isn’t going to go wolf though, she’s bad enough without adding some actual claws.