Miss Take

True Blood 5.09

• I’m really glad there’s a recap because I forgot half of this shit. 
• Poor Eric, being dragged along with this shit. 
• Oh look, dissension. Please tell me they tear each other and Bill apart and leave Eric alone. 
• No, but seriously, what happened to not wasting the fucking blood and being a neat eater being a point of pride? Older vampires are supposed to set an example, take less and waste less. 
• What’s vampire Mac doing? Awww, she’s helping Eric.
• “You see anything?” “Yep. One fine ass motherfucker with pretty new eyelashes!”
• Sassy Lala is my favourite. “I’m sorry Sook, I ain’t got no god damn clue how this shit works, I ain’t Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost, although I am way prettier.”
• “The rest of y’all! I ain’t gmail for dead bitches, send your own god damn messages. Hell!”
• No but really, I’m just going to quote Lafayette forever, I love him.
• So, Luna isn’t going to die? Awww. They love each other. Cute.
• “Baby, if it wasn’t for you… You’re the only reason I’m fighting at all.”
• “There are two things I try to stay away from; humans who eat a lot of fish, and politics. So whatever comes next, we keep our heads down, our tits up and the True Blood flowing. Understand?”
• “Just because we drank a bitch together does not make us Oprah and Gail. Get the fuck back to work.”  ”Suck Me! Vampire Barbie.”
• Oooh. That’s it. Bring up Sookie. Eric, why are you saving Beel?
• I think Erics tops are more low cut than mine.
• “Dead folk! Why you gotta be so cryptic?! It ain’t cute.”
• DON’T MAKE PROMISES YOU CAN’T KEEP JASON.
• Oh Jason. Jesus Christ. 
• Oh look, broody Alcide.
• Teenage Alcide looks nothing like older Alcide. Neither does Debbie.
• Is Bud Dearborn gonna be something to do with the Obama’s?
• Who the fucks this fat cow?
• “No, the president of the United States is not actually in Renard Parish shooting and kidnapping people.”
• I knew Terry’s “friend” was an asshole.
• Bet you’re regretting using up your fairy shit now, aren’t you?
• “I mean Joe Bob fell off his bunk real hard…” Jesus Fuck, Jason.
• “Joe Bob’s a son of a bitch, but it is my job to protect son of a bitches too - and vampires, and shifters, and were-chickens and whatever the fuck else is out there.”
• “ALL THE LAW EVER GAVE ME WAS CANCER IN MY ASS!”
• FUCKING GO ARLENE!
• Oh please make Nora bad ass again. I don’t like her as a fanatic.
• “Still such a fucking Viking, after all these years.” “Always.”
• Someone please fucking kill Salome.
• Oh goody, more Beeeeeel secks.
• SAM TO THE RESCUUUUUE!
• GO LUNA GO!
• So did the pigs get to Hoyt then?
• That fucking smoke monster better not take Terry after all that. And it better not fucking burn Sam’s bar. Oh good. Mysterious disappearance it is.
• WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CUNT?! DON’T YOU BE KICKING PAM! 
• I want that chicks skeleton dress.
• Oh bloody fuck, Russell and his fucking wolves again. Moonlight fucking strolls with Steve.
• Is this supposed to be Alcide’s daddy’s trailer? Oh, yep. What happened to Mr. Alpha Wolf? I like his eyes though.
• Beel you fucking cunt.